I Should Know Better By Now...

It’s been almost two weeks since I submitted my manuscript of my Himbos follow-up to my new editor at Forever.

Am I relieved? Very. Unburdened, even. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that it was originally due on October 15, 2025.

Today is April 15, 2026.

I submitted my manuscript on April 3.

Oops.

I thought that the lesson I’d learned from Himbos was not to cling too tightly to something that wasn’t working. It took nine months of back-and-forth with my agent to get to an opening that actually got the story moving, and much of that was due to me refusing to let go of elements I liked but that didn’t serve the story.

First, I wanted it to start in the doctor’s office so I could use the observation I’d made during my own MS scare, which was that eye specialists have exactly one joke: “The big chair is for you!”

Actually, the joke itself wasn’t what I wanted to keep. It was that while the three specialists I saw did use that line, the doctor who ran me through vision tests ahead of meeting my neurologist didn’t. When I asked him if he was going to tell me that “the big chair” was mine, he visibly shuddered. “No! God, no. I hope I’m not that much of a dork.”

Moments later, the neurologist came in and cheerfully announced, “Oh, good! You found the big chair!”

The other doctor and I couldn’t make eye contact for the rest of the exam. It was the highlight of my cycloptic week, and, ultimately, the moment I wanted to recreate for the book. Alas, it was not to be. And it only took me three months to accept it.

I moved on to another idea, taking place after Ellie’s been given the six month diagnosis window for MS. It would be that evening, the break-up fight at the restaurant ahead of going to the Dawghouse. On top of the fear and anxiety of her situation, she’d been having this “what now?” feeling pushing her to do SOMETHING while she waited things out, but she couldn’t pinpoint what to do. When Cole proposes a break-up at dinner, she’s thrilled. That’s the change she needs! They can end on perfectly amicable terms! But then he goes and cocks it up by proposing a “break” and that she move into the spare bedroom. Cole, you stupid, fictional man.

It had a lot going for it. The breakup established Ellie as a sympathetic character and their conversation got out a lot of background information out at once. But I really just wanted to keep the moment where Grant, trying his hand at being a server, poured the entirety of a bottle of wine into two glasses (he offered up a high-five in praise of surface tension. It’s worth noting that he did not end his evening still employed at this restaurant). It was a great time! But not a great use of my time.

I cannot begin to guess how many hours I committed to these failed opening chapters. Because there were others! Maybe Ellie was at drinks with friends and the breakup had already happened? She could meet the guys at a trivia night! They were losing—badly—and she volunteered to join their team.

It's 90's themed trivia. Also, there's a Tom Green St. just down from the Crown and Anchor. In 1999, the sign was constantly being stolen.

There were elements I didn’t want to lose from these, too. Ellie started mouthing answers to the guys from across the bar, starting with Beauty and the Beast being the first animated film nominated for best picture. I had a whole paragraph about a bartender with face tats and beautiful teeth; what must his relationship with his parents be like if they paid that much for orthodontia and he now has spiderwebs extending from his hairline? His inspiration worked at the Crown and Anchor at the time I was writing—it’s just north of UT if you want to say hi. They do a good burger.

True, I often don’t know what’s going to work until something does...especially when I haven’t written an outline or a synopsis and am totally winging it. But I do know that clinging is a trap. I clung with Ellie, and I clung again with Leda Byrne.

And when I let go, I got full-body hives.

I’ll come back to that later.

I went into this project knowing that Leda would be a swimmer and a lifeguard/swim instructor. She was going to be very tall and absolutely stunning, have a contentious relationship with her older sister (an already established character in the Himbo-verse), as well as a contentious relationship with her own beauty/body. And I wanted her to be mean. Not unkind! But to have moments of satisfying, justified meanness.

(Leda rules, btw.)

And I really, really, wanted to start the book with her rescuing Grant from drowning at Barton Springs.

So I clung.

The rescue? An action scene! So tense. And quality competence from Leda. If anyone is interested in what goes into a good save, my girl had you covered. There were nosy aqua joggers and an older guy on the deck filming the whole thing, and the way she held Grant in the aftermath was quite affecting. He invited her to breakfast to thank her, and I got in a jab at Austin favorite Kerbey Lane, which I maintain is only good if you’re experiencing whilst deep in the haze of nostalgia. (People, anyone can make a good pancake, and we all know that Torchy’s queso is superior. I said what I said.) Grant wouldn’t show, she’d be bummed, and then, the capper: a five-year time jump during which that what if? moment loomed large in her imagination.

But I couldn’t get her there.

So I wrote around it. I continued developing the sisters’ relationship and the other characters’ reactions to Leda and tried so many different scenarios where she reunited with Grant.

Nothing stuck, but I pressed on! This was my story for almost a year!

In late August, I finally sent the opening chapter to my agent, and she politely but firmly got it through my head that what I had was, frankly, mid. It was well written! But it was not on par with what she knew I could do.

I guess I knew it, too, because I accepted my fate. I chopped everything to do with the rescue and the missed connection and reconciliation and the intervening years. My word count went from 90k to 47k. My book was due in six weeks. But I was fine! I’d get it done!

And over the next six hours, I broke out in full body hives.

It was incredible. One eye was swollen almost shut. My daughter, in a deeply preteen move, refused to look at me. I learned what I’d look like with lip fillers. Pretty good, actually, but not worth the discomfort/general disfigurement.

Let's agree that this is very brave and commendable of me to share. Also, that darker spot on my side is just a scar from scraping myself on a bannister while helping a friend move a mattress up to the second floor of his house and then going to the beach. It's not, like, precancerous or weird. Don't let it distract you from the hives.

One urgent care visit, a steroid shot in the butt, and a prescription later, I was politely requesting an extension and back to work.

(It took three days for the hives to clear up. For the record, the hives on the backside are a nightmare, but the true hell is the ones on the scalp.)

As time went on, I wrote a new opening. Gone was the rescue, but I kept the swim angle, as well as the description of Barton Springs. Another lesson I’ve learned but actually live by: never delete, just move things to a “pillage” file to raid when necessary. Leda was mean the way I wanted, and instead of a five-year time jump, I simply set the story five years after the action of Ellie’s story. Bonus? Leda and Grant are going at it in chapter 3, just like their predecessors, Ellie and Ian. Except sober. And…well, they’re not nearly as interested in restraint as Ellie and Ian tried to be. We love this for them.

The book still fought me, though. Between October and April, I wrote and cut entire chapters and character motivations. Even now, I have to take a beat to remember if I’m remembering something that actually made the final draft or if it had ultimately been cut. How many scenes include water balloons? (two) Did the pipe dive game stay in? (yes! I wrote it, cute it, then put it somewhere else) Did I ever close the loop on the larvae? (no! But I will!)

Finally, the home stretch. Oddly, even though I’d faced and blown past deadlines before, the weeks I had leading up to my final deadline were more productive than any other stretch I’ve had. Chapters came together, sections I’d written around, knowing what I wanted them to do, but unable to get them to flow for months at a time. Suddenly, they were done.

That “pillage” file was raided again with two days to go, when I decided to completely abandon my planned ending for the novel. The change meant that I ended up writing almost 6k words in single day, and spent half of my flight to London on my laptop. Destination aside, this was not ideal, especially since I was in the middle seat and had to type with my elbows tucked in, raptor-style. But the scene I salvaged was a lifesaver. Even though –eek!—the direction I’d taken to use it meant I had to write an epilogue. I handed in the complete completed draft on Friday, April 3, two days after my delivery date, six weeks after my initial extension, and almost six months after my contractual due date.

First I ate this. Then, I posted up at this coffee shop and finished and emailed my manuscript. Then I ate this.

I like it a lot. And I hope y’all will, too.

I don’t know what’s next for me. Edits obviously, and soon—I’m supposed to get them back next week which is a massive departure from Himbos, which sat in an inbox for six months before I received my edit letter, then had two and a half weeks to edit (this time it’s not due until July. Amazing!) But Leda fulfills my two-book deal with my publisher. I left breadcrumbs for a third Himbo installment, but the difficulty I had writing this book makes me reluctant to go back to the Himbo well. Maybe I won’t have the opportunity anyway! Or, maybe the nice ladies who want to adapt Ellie Hayes for TV will find a home for the project and my life going forward will be all himbos, all the time.

Dare to dream, no?

For now, I have a few more days before I dive back in with Leda Byrne. I need to post about the exquisite romance bookshops I visited in London and the Texas Library Association event I attended two days before I flew out and my exprience at the San Antonio Book Festival this weekend. And I'm woefully behind on a thank-you to the ladies of the Traveling ARC who gifted me with a well-loved, annotated copy of Ellie Hayes and the Himbos back in December. It's stunning. I take it to every event.

And you need to mark your calendars to meet Leda Byrne on April 6, 2027 :)

Haven't picked up a copy of Ellie Hayes and the Himbos yet? Remedy that here!